Watch for these movies at your local 16-screen cinema. It's the way things are going.
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Upcoming movies from Hell Watch for these movies at your local 16-screen cinema. It's the way things are going. |
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Hank
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When the Tupelo Municipal Zoo closes down, there's nowhere for Hank, a friendly
7-ton Asian elephant, to go. In a highly contrived scene, a fan finds out that
Hank can pitch a mean forkball, and soon he's on the rotation for the city's
last-place triple-A farm club. The Confederates win their next game, and their
next, and by season's end Tupelo is contending for the championship.
Sadly, Hank is then framed for murder by the first-place Montgomery, Alabama team. As the championship series starts, no one believes Hank but his affable coach, whose wife will leave him if he goes back to the bottle. A dramatic courtroom sequence features cameos by John Grisham and George Will, who as an expert witness offers a soliloquy on the sanctity of National League baseball. At the last minute, a 7-year old kid runs in with evidence that clears Hank, and he and the team are allowed to play. The murder itself is put aside as attention shifts to the county ballpark. At the climax, the Confederates are behind 5-1 in the ninth inning with two outs. It's about to get dark, so this is the final play. Hank is at bat, and the bases are loaded, with two men on third. After two strikes, Hank fouls away what seems like eight pitches before knocking one out of the park; his five-run grand slam propels the Confederates to victory. Stars: Steve Guttenberg, Melanie Griffith, Whitney Houston (sings national anthem), Tori Spelling (horse-faced love interest). |
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